"PreMature Ejaculation" . . .

Ugh...Ugh...Ugh... Oops... Sorry Honey...

Whoa...........
We haven't even started yet...
Or "have" we ???
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

First... Thanks for being "Good Sports"
and being open to chat.

Second... There is a "Big Spiritual Foundation"
for what may appear to be a "dirty subject"...
Many of the women have touched on it already...
Love... Intimacy... and Intercourse... With God Herself...

Oh Yeah, that's right, God and Jesus are men,
so women have a heterosexual relationship with God...

Butt...
Many "Real Men" who try to "Love" Jesus and each other
have shared with me at mens retreats and Promisekeepers
That they struggle with homosexual or at least bisexual undertones.
There's no avoiding the thought if you truly desire
intimacy with God and Man...
Otherwise one has an abstract image of God...
Unless... One "knows" God as a "Spirit"...
Let your juices begin to flow as you ponder this...


Alrighty Then... i was going to pick on men first...

Butt ...........
Since Lil' Sis' and LizzyB started
with opposing opinions,
and the women seem to think
that "men" are "seXXXed" up...

i'm gonna start with women...

Yipee...
Is Yipee kinky sex ??? Just kidding...

In the course of my ongoing research
i was knocked out by the number of women who masturbate
and are aroused visually,
as to the traditional emotional way...
You Know... Cards, Flowers, Talk, ChicFlics... Wine and Dine...
Butt... Don't 69 me...

Also...
In California in the 80's ( oh those crazy 80's)...
There was a peculiar phenomenon...
"Virgin Christian Chics"(another blogsite?) ;)
were having anal sex (gasp)
in order to preserve their "virginity"...
Now there wasn't a lot written about this,
Butt... it was happening...
And this wasn't just isolated in California
"pioneers as they may be".

Now... The Moment of Truth or Dare . . .

Could it be...
Women have the same "sexual hunger" as men ?
and are beginning to manifest it ?
GIRL'S ARE GOING WILD... Are they not ???

And... What "twisted"
Pastor, Youth Pastor or Christian Boyfriend
were able to convince these "Virgins"
that "Anal or Oral" sex wasn't sex?
Or maybe it was just young Bill Clinton...

Butt Seriously ...
What were these young ladies after...
Love ??? Intimacy ??? A Sore Butt ???

How should christians Talk About Love Sex and Marriage ???

Even though i agree with a certain
Beautiful, Smart, Christian Mother and FRIEND...
For God's sake and their sake tell them ...
"Sex is Great and Wonderful
when you're married"...

Then...
Tell them the Truth... That you were kidding...

Most newlyweds have a ton of sexual baggage
even if they enter marriage as virgins...

WHY ???
Because nobody wants to talk about it...

A "fer instance"...
Sex that is legal before God and Man
is less complicated when you're married,
Yeah Right... Before or After having kids (procreation).

How many men have been caught
humpin' (men are such dogs) their wives...
Somehow the kids walk in...
Locked Door's Miraculously Unlock...
Then the wife says (while modestly covering up)...
Honey... maybe "YOU" should go talk to them...

Husband (trying to put on pants with "wood"): Huh... What... Who... Me???
Can't we finish first ??? Baby... Please???

Or try explaining to todays intelligent young people
WHY premarital sex, pornography,adultery
and the divorce rate is so rampant
if marriage offered "better sex"...
i mean in the CHURCH as well as in the World.

Is anybody buying our self-deception ??? No, Not Really...

So as we try to figure out ways to bring
The "Truth" to PoMo's
Maybe we ought to start telling the truth to ourselves...

Every "Body" wants the "Truth" and "Love"...

All i know is...

Baaaaaaaaby....
When i gets da feelin'
i Want Sexual Healing... Sex is Usually Healin'...

Sing with me Marvin...
PBR...Jely... TyBo... Naked ChurchChics...
Let's Lay Down Some FatAss Funk...

Ooh Baby... Slow Down... Relax... we haven't even started yet...

And YES... there were alot of "Butts" in this post...