" Moron Love, Pain and Suffering" . . .
"The Toothache, Part 1" . . .

Ever have a toothache ?
You know, just a sensitive dull ache ?
You pop an aspirin or mild pain reliever,
Or maybe you do nothing at all.
It seems to go away and you forget about it.

Without warning, it comes back...
A hot or cold drink feels like an ice pick
in your jaw or even behind your eyes.
This time, It wants more attention...
More pain relievers and rub a little OralGel on it.
Again, it seems to go away and you forget about it.

Then one day, while brushing,
Carefully avoiding that tooth,
Because it hurts like Hell.
You notice the area around it
is red and swelling...
You rinse and go on your way...

Then, your friends begin to back away
from you as you talk,
You realize your wife, kids and dogs
have left you,
even you begin to notice it.

The smell of shit (oops, poop) or a rotting corpse
is emanating out of your mouth.
Now you realize, something's wrong.

So, what do you do ?
If you're like me, you call a "rookie dentist"
Straight out of school,
because you want to "support" a new local business.

So there i am, wide open, in this high tech chair,
surrounded by all these high tech gadgets.
This "rookie" shows me a MTV video and X-rays
of my mouth ( i was impressed )
and cheerfully says . . .

i know what you're thinking . . . Go Ahead, Say It . . .

"Thom, you need a Root Canal" . . .

Well he’s so excited, I get all excited and say …
“What the Hell, let’s get it on” . . .
i was a virgin.

So he shoots me up with some novacaine,
And attempts to clip
some sort a condom or rubber shield
to my teeth to keep me from choking on particles
All the while I’m choking to death on this condom.
But i feel "safe" . . .

"That’s When The Cussin’ Starts" . . .

Not me.
The “rookie dentist”.

The condom keeps popping off,
He breaks a drill bit,
And all the while he’s cussin’ a blue streak.

Normally, I would think this is funny,
but my jaw is sore from holding it open
and I’m still choking on that damn condom.

Finally, he completes the drilling
and begins to poke little files,
Down into the "Stinking Pit of Hell" in my mouth.

All of a sudden,
I feel what seems to be a Railroad Spike
Puncturing my Medulla Oblongata . . .
The novacaine had worn off and my brain was exploding.

"A Long Story" . . .

So I’m home and dying,
The pain and suffering had me considering
Heroin or a Gun (Just kidding).

Believe or Not, I go back and He did it again.
The same result, pain and more suffering.

"Finally" . . .
I found an "experienced" dentist and he "fixed it".
He did "another" root canal but told me, at my age
he could have just "pulled" it.
No messin’ around and way "cheaper".

I spent a ton of money and time and suffered terrible pain,
But I learned a Huge Spiritual Lesson . . .

"To Be Continued" . . .

Oh Well, You All "Assed" for it ...
And this “Is” about suffering ...